Wednesday, December 09, 2015
I well understood the limits of what I could and could not control. Or at least I thought I did. They always say you can only control yourself - your actions, your reactions, your thoughts. But when it involves another person or other people, there is no control over the outcome. Makes enough sense. Sounds comforting enough in the face of disappointment.
But why do I feel this tinge of disappointment when my students tell me they went over time for the presentation, got cut off, and did not manage to get to the concluding segment, which would cause them to drop down the rubric, costing them a good grade.
It is not their fault. It is not mine fault.
But I so wanted the presentation to help them get a good grade for the course, setting up office hours for them to practice and gave them pointers. I wanted them to do well.
Yet, I forget that ultimately, the control of their grade is not in my hands, but in their hands and that of others. It is frustrating, knowing how good their presentation is, how much effort they put in, and yet, not being able to do anything. This is so so frustrating.
Acknowledging that you have no control over something, and not putting the responsibility upon yourself can be so hard.