back home

Sunday, September 13, 2009

it's been 4.5 months since I flew back home.
Singapore feels different, from when I left for the US in 2006.
definitely more crowded. was recounting with a friend about the more peaceful, or should I say 'tranquil' times, when I was in school. Then, the population of 3 million was a more homogenous and closer-knit one. Today, the population has 'boomz' (yes fav word of the moment). But it's sad that the people who make up the numbers are just that... with no sense of belonging nor ownership.
Anyway, back to changes... I love how the skyline is changing at the marina bay area. love love love the skyline of Singapore:)one thing that I missed lots in Madison. city living!
and the new shopping centres - Orchard central, ion, iluma. but haven't been in the mood to shop ever since i came back

settling back into Singapore has been relatively easy... except for the weather.

brother's 21st!

cousins! dinner at long beach before Mike leaves for France...

pulut hitam with ice-cream, chilled on a cool green liquid. paiseh not a chemist so dun know what that is...


first snowskin mooncakes... the teacher prepared everything for us, so it was quite successful. but my own attempt was bad:(

pimply kitty mooncake <3

at Shillawon :)

not ready to graduate just yet

Friday, May 01, 2009

How ironic. To think that all along, I have been counting down the semesters and looking forward to the day when I'll finally graduate. Yet now, I just want a little more time. It's a scary thought actually, that my final semester here at UW ends in just 2 more days. One exam, a couple of papers, a thesis and I am done officially. Commencement is next Sunday.
It's hard, the thought of packing up and leaving for good. Never never had I imagined that I wouldn't bear to leave Madison. Ok. I am looking forward to graduating, but not about leaving Madison. Leaving the place that I have grown so comfortable with. One where so many memories, good and bad alike, started...

try this

Thursday, March 26, 2009

By the pool,I scooped some water with my palms. The water remained carefully contained within the careful cup my hands formed.
But, as I try to close my fingers around it, it spills through every crack it finds...

precious time

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The hours of Mondays through Fridays get drawn into the chasm of onerous routines. And whatever little time left is salvaged, is cherished, is thanked for.
The weekend becomes the cynosure of each week. Yet, they have to fly by.
I don't want an end to the weekend. And sometimes, just sometimes, I woolgather and wish I had the power to freeze special moments in time.

I'm just amused. How strange it hadn't struck me till now - the value of time. Not with the passing of each birthday. Neither did it during the A levels or finals.

Yet, now, I've been reduced to a scavenger, a hoarder.
Every hour, every minute, every second. They matter the world.

YES! one more semester to go!

Monday, December 15, 2008

And so classes ended last Friday, marking the end of yet another semester. To be exact, the second to last.
The end is sort of in sight, and really, it helps to know that this chapter is finally coming to a close:)I can't wait to graduate!

what will be will be

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It was my 4th attempt, and the outcome was the same as the previous attempts.
Not an immediate failure, but the points I chalked up were enough to cost me.
I was really upset, more with myself than anything.
Starting to seriously doubt my abilities, and question whether it's all meant to be in the first place.
Whilst I'm trying really hard to convince myself that it was just my luck running into such a b*tchy tester, one can be that unlucky only a couple of times. Now is WAY pass that threshold. And I guess it's just something wrong with me... if you're good, you're good. the tester or test conditions wont' be a significant influence.
When people start asking how i did, don't even want to answer them. Yea, maybe before the next test, I should tell them to assume the worst case scenario, and not ask unless they see me jumping for joy.
Some people can pass on their first attempt, but me...
Everytime I think about taking the test again, I get knots in my stomach.
It's the thought of failing yet another time. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if that happens...
Whether or not I pass this test is inconsequential. Life goes on. But the fact that it's taking so long.. the feeling is absolutely crappy.
And the pressure just increases with each attempt
Pretty amazing how little things like that can make you doubt your self worth.

about decision making

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sometimes, no, actually all the time, I wished I could make better decisions.
A number of wrong decisions back then, and I am living with the consequences even till today.
And it's only when everything is carved in stone, that people tell me that I should have made this and that of a decision. Yah, I appreciate that very much.
If only I could turn back time...
算了

你是答案

Thursday, October 09, 2008

very sweet song:)

a mind of our own

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I wished...

Sometimes, even the most sane person make the most irrational decision.
And the most level-headed person allows emotions to rule his head.
Moods swing like a pendulum because of who-knows-what chemical fluxes in the brain.
The worse is being hapless as the biochemistry of it all overpowers our ability to think straight.

back in madison

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

2 years have passed. And I thought it would get easier to return to Madison and start Fall semester all over again. It just gets harder to leave each time... Maybe because summer back home was only 3 weeks. It flew by and I guess I didn't get to do everything I wanted to.

Finally rearranged everything in my room, and it looks and feels more cosy than the previous semester!

I love my new table, which was a gift from dear jo. Thank you! Haha... and the very comfortable papasan, which I got from Yun. One of the best things is reading papers whilst slumped in it... and getting lulled to sleep:x

Hmm. It's only the second week of school now, and I feel really tired - both physically and mentally. To the extent that I don't feel like going anywhere, doing anything or meeting anyone. Sigh... And it doesn't help when it rains for the whole day. But I probably need to sleep more too.

Breathless

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

the Corrs
album: Best of the Corrs

love this song!

Cambridge Week 5

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Destination: Dublin, Ireland!

First and only trip out of the UK over the 8 weeks.

Welcome to Stansted Airport, a haven for cheapo overnight airport campers like me. An experience to forget asap... The airport was a hive of activity when we reached at 12 midnight! There were obviously seasoned campers... who were already sprawled across the prized benches by the time we arrived. The champions were those who set up shop on the floor with their sleeping bags and blankets. And you thought a jacket was sufficient. No... not at Stansted because, for some reason, the entrances were left open. I barely caught a wink, no thanks to the cold drafts. At around 3 am, I saw 2 armed policemen patrolling the terminal. Got a bit worried... They were called in because some joker left his bag unattended. After some instense interrogation and admonition, the poor guy was let off. He probably would never dare leave a packet of tissue on the table to reserve his seat anymore...

Dublin in a day!

Avalon House, the hostel we stayed on Saturday night...

A trip to where it all started... the St. Jame's Gate Brewery.

Guinness is good... not that I have tried lots of other beer. But yes, I like the clean taste of the brew... it's particularly refreshing... Cheers~

It started pouring by the time we reached the temple bar district.

We scrambled for shelter at a random restaurant/bar, and the food was not bad!

Guinness beef stew...

Really glad that we went for a tour to Wicklow and Glendalough the next day!

A view of Kiliney coastal area, where all the rich and famous stay... See if you can spot Enya's castle towards the top left of the picture

Wicklow Mountains... Loch Tay aka Guinness Lake

the view was marvelous!

Glendalough... at the ruins of a monastery.

with yunqin at Upper Lake...

The famouse Trinity College of Ireland, where the Book of Kells is kept. Unfortunately, we got there too late, and the library was already closed to visitors...

The fickle weather did dampen our spirits... but still it was a fun-filled weekend, thanks to the wonderful company!

photos stolen from khian hong!

Cambridge Week 4

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

DESTINATION: Stonehenge, Windsor, Oxford

All in a day's work! Pretty amazing eh?? One good thing of a package tour - every minute is stretched to the last second (that is a bit of an exaggeration)... you get the point!

1st stop: Windsor Castle!

What visit to the UK would be complete without a visit to any one of the castles? The royal family, albeit anachronistic, remains an integral part of the British identity... even for tourists like me!

A closer look at the flag atop the round tower... the Royal Standard! So the queen was in that day...

Heavy, thick stone walls with narrow slits (for the archers) surrounded the perimeter of the fortress. That sure didn’t prepare us for the interior wards of the castle, which were... residences befitting of royalty - extravagance complete with a touch of cosiness...

And the much touted Queen Mary's dollhouse... A fully functional house, only a miniature one (a scale of 1:12). The chandeliers and the grandfather's clock in the front foyer actually work! And there is even electricity and plumbing in the dollhouse! Even vintage wine, albeit a mini bottle... Amazing... A dollhouse fit for a queen indeed! It's really worth the see, trust me!

2nd stop:

Presenting...

Once a site of pagan worship, now a place where tons flock to marvel the construction feat...

Set amidst rolling meadows, it is probably the most prominent feature in the vicinity. Probably why it was, and probably still is, a place of pagan worship... Close to 4000 years ago, they transported the bluestones from Wales over sea and land for close to 240 miles! Go figure! Although the Sarsens were brought in from 25 miles away, they were HUGE...

What purpose the stones served remains a mystery...

3rd and final stop: Oxford!

It was a shame that we spent less than 2 hours in Oxford, of which half an hour went to a walking tour of the campus.

Christchurch college! Harry potter!

Thankful... for the wonderful weather that weekend amongst many other things!

photos were stolen from khian hong!

Cambridge!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

CaMbRidGE!

And so a long overdue post. Just an update… Been in Cambridge for almost 2 weeks now. Did everything there is to do around here – went to Corpus’ formal last Friday (thanks to Shireen),


sure looks like one of those harry potter dinners, doesn't it?

punting on Saturday,

and that is expert punter Hong King, together with Yao Feng (left) who brought us around Cambridge on Saturday.

and more sightseeing on Sunday.

Corpus Christi College

Everything but what I had set out to do in Cambridge from the start – research! Ahh! I am frustrated but yet, I can’t do any bench work until my work permit gets approved. I have been reading paper after paper, attending seminar after seminar, and I am bored stiff. My mentor, Al, has been showing me the protocols, and has even started my project for me, just because time is an issue. 2 weeks gone, 6 weeks left. I am worried because I may not be able to complete the project in time. I am really annoyed because these delays were completely avoidable. Enough said. And the sporadic showers don’t help at all.

On a lighter note, Sean, the group leader of the lab I work in, was really nice about these delays. He kept apologizing about all the red tape and told me that if I got too frustrated, I could take a day off and head down to London. Sounds like a plan to me! Initially I planned to do just that tomorrow, but apparently not already, because I have quite a bit to learn tomorrow.

Cambridge is a really nice place and I am settling down well. Thanks to Xiao Yang, who has been showing us around the place, and came to pick us up from Parker’s Piece on Sunday when we first arrived. Khian Hong and I would have never found our way to Sonali’s house if he hadn’t. And Sonali is the landlady of the house the three of us are staying in. She is a really nice woman, and she is 7 months pregnant with a baby girl.

13 Tenby Close

the living room

my room!

our first attempt at cooking dinner

And her 16 month old son Virem, is such a dear! Unfortunately, she stays over a lot at her mom’s, so we rarely get to play with the boy…

Aww... look at Virem!

and khian hong was trying to buy Virem over with chocolate

As of now, we are getting place to place by walking. It’s a one hour’s walk to the city centre, and when you walk enough, you just get used to it… But I should learn how to bike.
So yesterday whilst I was walking home, a 4 year old boy on a mini bicycle, passed me by. His dad was pedaling at a deliberate pace so that the boy can keep up. In a desperate attempt to comfort myself, I scanned the bike for trainer wheels. Sadly, there were none…

all pictures courtesy of khian hong:)

nonsense

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I am so sick of studying for biochemistry... Actually I shouldn't be complaining because as compared to people who are doing biochem 508, biochem 503 is but the tip of the iceberg. And I had all the time from Monday to study, but I did
not want to. the bolt of finals during the last week of school just killed me...
So what did I do on Monday and Tuesday? Hmm. That is a really good question. Time just flew by... For one, I burnt the whole of Monday in lab, running my western. And I am glad I went to lab because I would have whiled away my time watching Bleach anyways... I spent half my Tuesday in lab, and the other half watching Bleach... Hopelessly addicted to Bleach. I started watching Bleach 3 - 4 weeks ago, and I am already at the Arrancar Arc. I skipped the Bount Arc though, but I am planning to watch that some time in summer. But Bleach is the coolest anime, really... not professing to be some anime guru, but go watch it, and you will know why it is so addictive. I regret not watching it with the rest last Spring... and back then, I wondered about the magic of Bleach... now i know.
Ahh.. back to mugging for biochem... Studying is so much harder when are studying about things that you have already learnt in, say genetics, but yet, you have to force yourself to plough through that useless crap because there is a different (aka biochemical) slant...
Just willing next Monday to come...

take a deep breath

Monday, April 14, 2008

take a deep breath

The end, to the semester that is, is already in sight. 5 more weeks! It's so close, yet so far... so many things must transcend before it's finally time to leave.

It is just scary to think about the things I have to settle before the end of the semester... Academics, summer internship, the Europe trip.

I can't, and don't even dare to think ahead now... Just taking one step at a time.

On a lighter note, I couldn't believe my eyes when I got back my 2nd Andersen exam... lol. Seriously, I thought the exam was bad. Firstly, I went through my notes ONCE... Plus, during the exam, the girl beside me was happily munching nature valley bars... can you imagine? Here I was trying to concentrate so that I can put an essay together, and there you are creating a din with all your chewing. I was really irritated, and I even contemplated writing a postscript in my essay, to tell the professor to ban eating during exams. Thank God she was done with all her eating after 15 - 20 mins, and I did well for the paper. If not.. hah... Seriously, eat before the exam or something, because it is really disruptive to the people around you when you eat during exams... Anyway, distractions aside, I did not even know what I was writing during the exam. After the exam, I felt like crap. Now, I am just AMAZED at the art of bull...

And Mammoth cave that same weekend. Woo. An experience of a lifetime.

all spick and span before the tour

They weren't kidding when they said that the Wild Cave Tour is physically strenuous. It was mentally exhausting too... Personally, Kathleen's Crawl was the worst for me. All the leopard crawling drained my energy. If it wasn't for the encouragement from jo, roys and kh, I would have given up halfway... which is silly because you would have to leopard crawl all the way back anyhow... And an 18 inch high tunnel really doesn't give you a lot of space to adjust and be confortable. All the crawling took a toll on our knees, and it is really admirable how the guides are doing this every so often.
There was less crawling in the second part of the tour, but what was installed for us was just as challenging. The canyon walks were really good... and I really enjoyed them, although there was one where getting a good footing was tricky because the rocks were slippery, and there wasn't a good handhold anywhere... that was really scary. But I survived... haha.. thanks to jo, roys and kh:)

And yes, I think it would be really cool to spend a night in the cave. I love how it becomes pitch black once we turn off the headlights. Plus the lovely temperature around the tens...

Oh yes, and something that we concurred on: if not for the helmets, we would have suffered from concussions... bumping into the roof of the cave was quite a common occurrence...

Look at us after

with Ranger John, in all our caving glory

not so clean after it all. But really really glad we went for the tour:)

Pictures courtesy of kh:)

Sunday was another adventure in itself... in the interest of time, it's a story that I'll blog about some other time... Got back to Madison on Sunday later than expected, and could not do much about Biochemistry the next day...

Hah... I think I screwed up Biochemistry... bigtime. Screwed up many other things too... Trying to take things in my stride... Getting better but yes, it isn't easy at all. I guess after it all, you see that what is meant to be will be. What is not meant to will never be.

what a day

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

I baked some cookies.
I cleaned and tidied my room.
I did my laundry.

*****

I cleared the trash and
sorted the papers and ads
I could recycle.

**********

I printed my notes.
I made a photo collage.
I grocery-shopped.

***************

Then it was dinner.
Then I watched some trashy show
Now it's time to sleep...

ahhh.

********************

Delayed reaction
on the morning of wednesday
But it worked wonders...

crap

Friday, April 04, 2008

ahhh... it is close to 1am now, and I am not even halfway through the material I need to cover for my exam at 12.05pm later today.
Panicking, and nothing seems to be going in anymore. And I want to sleep. But there are still so many things on my mind, on top of the exam.
Things that I have to settle before leaving for Kentucky later in the afternoon. I have to make a trip to the mall after my exam, to get a pair of boots. My winter boots, though non-slip, will never pass the test cause they need to have deeply threaded soles, and I don't want to be turned away just before the tour. I have to draw money. I have to pack. I have to go to lab. All in an hour and a half.
And things I have to settle for summer. And many many more...

My priorities are in a mess... ahh! Trying to search for the has been, but realizing that it might not even have been in the first place. Or maybe is not meant to be anymore. Tiring myself out... looking and feeling like crap...

The most incredible roadtrip

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The most incredible roadtrip

Madison, WI > Indianapolis, IN > Nashville, TN > Memphis, TN >
Dallas, Tx > Oklahoma City, OK > St. Louis, MO > Springfield, IL > Madison WI

Spring break was really fun, in spite of the horrid weather! We were expecting clear blue skies and some texan sun as we headed south. But no... it was rainy, gloomy, cold and miserable. BUT, the company was more than enough to make up for this!

Bicentennial Park in Nashville, Tennessee

Grand Ole Opry House, Nashville TN

Home of Elvis, Graceland in Memphis TN


Oklahoma City Memorial, OK

Arch @ The Lou, Missouri

Pictures courtesy of KH:)

More updates to come... if I survive next week.

spring beckons:)

Friday, February 29, 2008

The gentle rays of the morning sun stream in through the blinds, and it's only 630am in the morning. The days are getting longer, and before we know it, it would be time for daylight savings.

As winter melts into inexistence, Earth enters into yet another orbit around the sun. It's mind boggling how this passage from spring to winter, so seemingly predictable, can vary so much, so much that we are actually caught unprepared.

This winter, the 77.3 inches of snowfall (as of 6 Feb) in Madison broke the record set in 1978-79. And we almost did not have enough gravel and salt for salting the roads and the pavements. Countries like China weren't spared from the heavy snowfall too. Millions of people could not make it back for their lunar new year reunion because of the snow...

Anyway, I was just thinking about how much had happened in the past 5 years... the tsunami that wrecked beach resorts in asia, Hurricane Katrina that destroyed New Orleans... Just when we thought we have control over it all, Mother Nature shows us that she is capable of WAY more. She never fails to remind me how we can never be in control... however hard we try. That's why the best laid plans often go awry... It took a decade or so to establish tourist resorts and poof... it gets wiped out in just a matter of hours. Hah. how small and hapless we stand, and how insignificant our efforts are in the grand scheme of things.

The quirks of Mother Nature... and just for the record, the earth is actually closest to the sun in the deep of winter here in Madison. How paradoxical!

But oh well, life is always like that...

and i know that this post is just a random assortment of stuff... that sounds disconnected from each other, and not relevant to the title of the post in any sense... because i'm just writing whatever comes to mind.

anyhow, spring beckons!
let's hope that the year ahead would be a better one for us.

The snow, and the ice, is starting to melt:)
and i am loving every moment of it!

Part of Your World

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Maybe he's right. Maybe there is something the matter with me.
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad.

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I've got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'
Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?
Oh - feet!

Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down a - what's that word again?
Street

Up where they walk,
up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free - wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land they understand
That they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women
sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand

I'm ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it - what's the word?
Burn?

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

This song is beautiful!

enough is enough

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Something I really have to learn.
When to stop, and when to push it.
What is appropriate and what isn't
Period

I am really sorry...
I didn't mean for it to turn out that way

About falling

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Argh… I am such a klutz. I fell too many times since the start of winter. 5 or 6 times to date. And I did not even slip last winter. Something must have gone wrong in between.
Each fall on the pavement was hard, and painful. They always happen when I am walking too quickly. When I am distracted by other thoughts. And 80% of the falls occur around the area I am staying. Probably because they don’t really bother about pouring gravel and sand on the minor pavements. And I don’t learn my lessons, do I?
Anyway, what hits immediately is the embarrassment.
Then I realize the sharp pain, which I amazingly bear with until I collect myself and continue walking.
As though I am fine. As though nothing had happened, when really, I just want to dig a hole in the snow and hide…

spooked out

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I stirred from my sleep as my phone rang at 2.52am. It was from a local number I did not recognize. There was no answer from the other side when I answered. Thinking that some drunk must have dialled the wrong number, I went back to sleep.
It was 2.54am when the phone rang again. And there was no answer from the other side when I picked up the phone. All I could make out was gibberish... My phone was my alarm clock and I did not want to be late for class later, so I was was reluctant to switch it to silent. I thought the calls would stop.
Just when I thought I could go back to sleep, the phone rang at 2.59am. ARGH! That was the last straw... I was quite irritated because whoever this person was, he or she was defintely preventing me from getting my sleep. I was peeved! I was tempted to holler at the person but I was more overwhelmed by fear, no thanks to my over-active imagination, so I rejected the call, and switched my phone to silent. I would probably wake up before 8am the next morning anyway...
I thought I could finally get back to sleep, but my mind was too busy generating all the worst case scenarios... This is going to sound really silly, I know. Every creak made me jump. The wind rattled the windows in their frames, and sent shivers down my spine. I curled up even more under my blanket...
It did not help that it was 3am in the morning. Really, this shouldn't have that much of an influence if I hadn't known it as the devil's hour... Yes, you are probably sniggering. But I couldn't help it. It was really spooky, and the strange thing is that after I switched my phone to silent, the calls stopped.
whatever man... i only managed to sleep at 4am.
And I learnt that the alarm of my phone goes off even when my phone is switched off, thanks to jo... hahaha... peaceful sleep from now on:)

i want answers

Monday, January 21, 2008

There are so many things I want to know about, that I want to find out. Imagine how nice it would be to be omniscient.
I want to know why my experiements fail all the time. Why DNA recombination don't always work. Which step went awry? Just what is wrong with the Ecoli cells? Why do they express the genes at times, but more often than not, do not? At times when my mentor does the experiment, I see progress. More often than not I feel like I am taking a stab in the dark, and things just don't work out the way they should...
Maybe its something wrong with me. With how I approach the whole grand scheme of things. Maybe it's because I do not know enough about the techniques involved. Maybe it's because I am ignorant about the very science the trade is built upon. Maybe it's because I try to rush through, and haste makes waste...
Maybe maybe maybe.
Just what exactly is wrong?
It's frustrating to want to know, yet realizing that there is no one you can ask who will provide a sufficient answer. The Ecoli would know the answers to my questions, but I cannot ask them.. can I?
Like me, my mentor cannot pinpoint which step has gone wrong. I repeat the experiment. When it becomes apparent a certain approach is wrong with each successive failure, I guess which step is the problematic one, and a different a approach is attempted. But there are only so many alternatives. And you do get tired of guessing and trying.
Maybe some experiments are never meant to work out in the first place. But who ever knows that?

giving thanks

Monday, December 17, 2007

I know I really shouldn't be writing a blog entry right now in the middle of my studying for finals.. but yes, I will consider this as a break...

The insanity of the past semester has finally ended with the last day of classes. yay! I am so done with o chem lab...(haha kelvin, i'm blogging abt it:) strange though... i wasn't over the moon after the last o chem lab. More of being thankful and relieved that it had ended. Looking back, how I survived the semester was indeed amzaing! (anyway, studying for the finals is another story in itself)

Ever had times when you felt tired of being tired? Well, I finally knew what it meant. there were so many times when I wanted to throw in the towel. When I just did not want to go for lectures anymore, especially bacteriology lecture, partly because it was at 8am. Especially towards the end of the semester when the mornings get so cold that its so nice to sleep in. but you wake up only to find that it is already 745am... there's only so much you can do in trying to make it on time for that lecture... unless you can glide (something I should really learn from roys... haha). anyhow, I digress! where was I? Yes, tired of being tired. And you don't even want to "chiong" for exams anymore, which is BAD... I recall the last day in Minnesotta when jo, roys kh and I were so reluctant to go back to Madison to finish the last leg of the semester. When we actually contemplated quitting school... which is actually a really nice thought(i'm serious!), something which I still wish could happen without any consequences.

reality reality reality... never pleasant when it hits, but you can never run away from it...

anyway, to put it simply, the semester was a crappy one... I screwed up so many bacteriology midterms that I don't even dare to think about what my grade would be in the end... Nonetheless it was the most fun-filled and meaningful one. I am really be thankful for the wonderful company that has seen me through the best and the worst times of the semester. All the lunches together and cookouts, all the late nights at union south and wendt libary, the sleepover at kh's place, all the road trips... and most of all, the support and encouragement! and for just being there!:) the friendship that has developed is truly amazing:)

Most importantly, I also want to thank You for everything!

hahaha sorry i'm becoming mushy and everything... haha... anyway, it's just 5 more days!! it's probably time to end this entry and hit the books... i promise to update more over winter break!

some long overdue pictures from the minnesotta trip, courtesy of kh:)

thanks guys, for all the times we spent together!

only 1/3 of the semester to go??

Monday, November 12, 2007

i am 2/3 through with this semester! on the one hand, this is good because I want to be over and done with this insanity. On the other, I'm really unsettled... Am i really 2/3 through with the semester? Why do i feel as though what transcended over the past 10 weeks was merely the tip of the iceberg? but it's like - what more can there be in just 5 more weeks?? hah. just 5 weeks? more like 840 hours, and I wonder how much will actually be spent sleeping.

the past 2 weeks were hellish, and I really don't know how i managed to pull through. caffeine? hah... i hate caffeine... i really doubt it helps to keep me awake. and i feel extremely lethargic after that... and i suspect the terrible headache I got on saturday was all thanks to caffeine as well. but the college runs on caffeine... almost everyone I see carries a thermos mug of coffee. I seriously doubt anyone can get through college without cultivating this reliance on caffeine. of course there are exceptions to the rule. but still...

hahaha anyway enough about caffeine... I am really looking forward to thanksgiving in Minnesota! in 1.5 weeks! Seriously, it's the only holiday we have. Other schools get fall breaks,Veteran's day off etc, but we get only the bare minimal. The timetable here is so well-thought of, that the semester starts exactly after the labor day holiday... whatever...
back to Minnesota - yes! Mall of America! woo! and guess what? people start queuing at 430am when the mall opens only at 8am! haha! that's madness... other than that, there isn't really a lot to see and do in MN. it'll be a nice getaway, and really, it's the company that counts! looking forward to chilling out n slacking the whole day:)

i wouldn't be taking organic chemistry lab...

Friday, October 19, 2007

if i didn't have to.

i will be ranting about o chem lab in this post, so beware... if organic chemistry is the love of your life, and you just want to spend every single waking hour in the organic chemistry lab, steer clear...

I don't like o chem lab at all. EVery single thing about the lab is so intimidating. From the solvents in the fume hoods to the glassware. In retrospect, analytical chem lab wasn't that bad. The only good point about organic chemistry lab is that you don't have to spend a whole lot of effort washing your glassware. Just use Acetone. and everything (i think) in you flask will dissolve and can be poured out. spick and span glassware in less than 5 mins. I remember the days of having to wash analytical chemistry glassware with microcleaning solution.. but oh well, those were the days...

Besides the above, everything isn't good. Firstly, the chemicals are volatile. Using the fume hood doesn't help a lot because once you take the compound out, the vapor gets to you. What's more? Sometimes, we have to heat organic solvents. Congratulations! Imagine the amount of hexanes you will be breathing in... And these tend to give you a bad headache, and god knows what else they do to you...

Plus the machines we have to use - people are generally not familiar with how to use them. So for the simplest task of determining the refractive index, which sounds hard but really isn't, people can take a whole 10 mins! My gosh. I don't know how they can spend 10 mins looking through the eye piece to determine the RI! it's not like as if its a kaleidoscope -_-"
Plus those gas chromatography machines that we have to use are really 'lao pok'. They have 3 machines to be shared among 64 students. 2 of the machines are not working. So you can imagine the queue that starts to build up, and it's really frustrating.

Oh man.. i really dread O chem lab... Every monday and wednesday, I will just get super nervous, anxious and frustrated. i know because I feel my heart racing each time I step into the lab... i hope this will get better ove rthe next 8 weeks...

my stats professor is super cool

ok... my stats professor is really funny. oh my goodness! he tries to be funny in lecture ALL the time. plus it's always so subtle and when you least expect it. it takes awhile to realize the joke, then it's just uncontrollable laughter... I guess these are the things that make the 1hr 15min lecture bearable...

so he told us to calculate the standard deviation to a problem. someone shouted "0.22". For some reason, he kept hearing it as 0.23, 0.32. anything but 0.22. So the person kept repeating "two two. two two." he finally heard it as 0.22. He went "oh! two two..." wrote the answer on the board, and then after a pause, guess what he said, "you know ballet tutu?".. then he did the classic ballerina pose. My goodness!

and then he was explaining this problem where a researcher counted dendrites in 35 neurons obtained from 7 guinea pigs. He was trying to illustarate why the 35 neurons were not totally random and independent variables. Well, basically it just takes a little bit of common sense to figure that out - the 35 neurons should have been obtained from 35 guinea pigs. But he went on about how a guinea pig can be an Einstein guinea pig or an idiot guinea pig and that the Einstein guinea pig would have more dendrites in a neuron.
seriously! einstein guinea pigs having more dendrites in their neurons?! that's the most absurd thing i've heard!

Plus, what does it take for someone to wake up in the morning, and decide he had to shoot the first squirrel he saw outside his window? Hah! and proudly flaunt his kill to the class... and he claims that his GPA was 0.65 in his freshman year. HAHA! how do you ever do get that?

6 weeks down, 9 more to go!

Monday, October 15, 2007

this semester is going way too fast!

it is starting to get cold in madison now and the sun is rising later and setting earlier. I guess it was gradual process, but I was probably too busy to notice. It was only on saturday that i realized it was already dark outside when it was only 630pm!

Yup, I should probably stop complaining about the weather. Before the temperature dropped, i was complaining about the heat. now, i am dreading the cold. Oh man! I want it to be 18 degrees celsius all year round! but that's not being realistic... anyways... i am not looing forward to experiencing winter in wisconsin all over again. I heard from a senior that winters in madison have been getting milder (yes, -28 degrees celsius is mild by mid-west standards). i hope that winter this year will be even milder! Should we be thanking global warming?! HAHA...
i watched Ratatouille. A really good movie, filled with humor and wit! my goodness! i was laughing throughout... It was for nearly 2 hours? But time flew by...

Anton Ego to Linguini " you're slow for someone in the fast lane."
Linguini's retort " you're thin for someone who loves food."

Gusteau "You know what I say. Anyone can cook."
Remy "Yeah, anyone can cook. That doesn't mean that anyone should."

Gusteau "What can I do? I am a figment of your imagination..."

i need an excuse to get a new school bag

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My school bag is almost 3 years old! I want it to spoil, but it just refuses to!! AHH!


Once in a while, i stuff in so much barang that it will weigh more than 7kg. But it refuses to give way... What more can I do? Plus, it doesn't receive the best treatment - I throw it around on the floor, and i expose it to rain and shine... But it refuses to spoil. Oh man... how how how? I want that north face borealis... hmph... help me think of a good reason to justify getting a new bag... lol

cooking

I have always wondered why chefs are inevitably men... it's only when you try cooking for yourself then you know the reason why.
The wok, by itself, is heavy. Imagine it with meat and whatever you are supposed to cook. it becomes REALLY heavy. ok, at least to me. if you cannot even lift the wok up, how are you supposed to be tossing food in it as you cook?
what about cooking stuff in 'cauldrons'?? firstly, you need to make the broth, which means you have to move buckets of water. then you need to stir. Wahh. don't play play and think that stirring is simple. you need to overcome the viscosity of the broth ok...
cooking is not as simple as it seems.
i have a newfound respect for chefs