And so classes ended last Friday, marking the end of yet another semester. To be exact, the second to last.
The end is sort of in sight, and really, it helps to know that this chapter is finally coming to a close:)I can't wait to graduate!
It was my 4th attempt, and the outcome was the same as the previous attempts.
Not an immediate failure, but the points I chalked up were enough to cost me.
I was really upset, more with myself than anything.
Starting to seriously doubt my abilities, and question whether it's all meant to be in the first place.
Whilst I'm trying really hard to convince myself that it was just my luck running into such a b*tchy tester, one can be that unlucky only a couple of times. Now is WAY pass that threshold. And I guess it's just something wrong with me... if you're good, you're good. the tester or test conditions wont' be a significant influence.
When people start asking how i did, don't even want to answer them. Yea, maybe before the next test, I should tell them to assume the worst case scenario, and not ask unless they see me jumping for joy.
Some people can pass on their first attempt, but me...
Everytime I think about taking the test again, I get knots in my stomach.
It's the thought of failing yet another time. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if that happens...
Whether or not I pass this test is inconsequential. Life goes on. But the fact that it's taking so long.. the feeling is absolutely crappy.
And the pressure just increases with each attempt
Pretty amazing how little things like that can make you doubt your self worth.
Sometimes, no, actually all the time, I wished I could make better decisions.
A number of wrong decisions back then, and I am living with the consequences even till today.
And it's only when everything is carved in stone, that people tell me that I should have made this and that of a decision. Yah, I appreciate that very much.
If only I could turn back time...
算了
I wished...
Sometimes, even the most sane person make the most irrational decision.
And the most level-headed person allows emotions to rule his head.
Moods swing like a pendulum because of who-knows-what chemical fluxes in the brain.
The worse is being hapless as the biochemistry of it all overpowers our ability to think straight.
I love my new table, which was a gift from dear jo. Thank you! Haha... and the very comfortable papasan, which I got from Yun. One of the best things is reading papers whilst slumped in it... and getting lulled to sleep:xDestination: Dublin, Ireland!
Guinness is good... not that I have tried lots of other beer. But yes, I like the clean taste of the brew... it's particularly refreshing... Cheers~
The fickle weather did dampen our spirits... but still it was a fun-filled weekend, thanks to the wonderful company!
photos stolen from khian hong!
DESTINATION: Stonehenge, Windsor, Oxford
What purpose the stones served remains a mystery...
Thankful... for the wonderful weather that weekend amongst many other things!CaMbRidGE!
And so a long overdue post. Just an update… Been in Cambridge for almost 2 weeks now. Did everything there is to do around here – went to Corpus’ formal last Friday (thanks to Shireen),
sure looks like one of those harry potter dinners, doesn't it?
and that is expert punter Hong King, together with Yao Feng (left) who brought us around Cambridge on Saturday.
Corpus Christi College
our first attempt at cooking dinner
I am so sick of studying for biochemistry... Actually I shouldn't be complaining because as compared to people who are doing biochem 508, biochem 503 is but the tip of the iceberg. And I had all the time from Monday to study, but I did
not want to. the bolt of finals during the last week of school just killed me...
So what did I do on Monday and Tuesday? Hmm. That is a really good question. Time just flew by... For one, I burnt the whole of Monday in lab, running my western. And I am glad I went to lab because I would have whiled away my time watching Bleach anyways... I spent half my Tuesday in lab, and the other half watching Bleach... Hopelessly addicted to Bleach. I started watching Bleach 3 - 4 weeks ago, and I am already at the Arrancar Arc. I skipped the Bount Arc though, but I am planning to watch that some time in summer. But Bleach is the coolest anime, really... not professing to be some anime guru, but go watch it, and you will know why it is so addictive. I regret not watching it with the rest last Spring... and back then, I wondered about the magic of Bleach... now i know.
Ahh.. back to mugging for biochem... Studying is so much harder when are studying about things that you have already learnt in, say genetics, but yet, you have to force yourself to plough through that useless crap because there is a different (aka biochemical) slant...
Just willing next Monday to come...
all spick and span before the tour
And yes, I think it would be really cool to spend a night in the cave. I love how it becomes pitch black once we turn off the headlights. Plus the lovely temperature around the tens...
Oh yes, and something that we concurred on: if not for the helmets, we would have suffered from concussions... bumping into the roof of the cave was quite a common occurrence...
Look at us after
with Ranger John, in all our caving glory
not so clean after it all. But really really glad we went for the tour:)
Pictures courtesy of kh:)
Sunday was another adventure in itself... in the interest of time, it's a story that I'll blog about some other time... Got back to Madison on Sunday later than expected, and could not do much about Biochemistry the next day...
Hah... I think I screwed up Biochemistry... bigtime. Screwed up many other things too... Trying to take things in my stride... Getting better but yes, it isn't easy at all. I guess after it all, you see that what is meant to be will be. What is not meant to will never be.
I baked some cookies.
I cleaned and tidied my room.
I did my laundry.
*****
I cleared the trash and
sorted the papers and ads
I could recycle.
**********
I printed my notes.
I made a photo collage.
I grocery-shopped.
***************
Then it was dinner.
Then I watched some trashy show
Now it's time to sleep...
ahhh.
********************
Delayed reaction
on the morning of wednesday
But it worked wonders...
ahhh... it is close to 1am now, and I am not even halfway through the material I need to cover for my exam at 12.05pm later today.
Panicking, and nothing seems to be going in anymore. And I want to sleep. But there are still so many things on my mind, on top of the exam.
Things that I have to settle before leaving for Kentucky later in the afternoon. I have to make a trip to the mall after my exam, to get a pair of boots. My winter boots, though non-slip, will never pass the test cause they need to have deeply threaded soles, and I don't want to be turned away just before the tour. I have to draw money. I have to pack. I have to go to lab. All in an hour and a half.
And things I have to settle for summer. And many many more...
My priorities are in a mess... ahh! Trying to search for the has been, but realizing that it might not even have been in the first place. Or maybe is not meant to be anymore. Tiring myself out... looking and feeling like crap...
Grand Ole Opry House, Nashville TN
Home of Elvis, Graceland in Memphis TN
Oklahoma City Memorial, OK
Arch @ The Lou, Missouri