i want answers

Monday, January 21, 2008

There are so many things I want to know about, that I want to find out. Imagine how nice it would be to be omniscient.
I want to know why my experiements fail all the time. Why DNA recombination don't always work. Which step went awry? Just what is wrong with the Ecoli cells? Why do they express the genes at times, but more often than not, do not? At times when my mentor does the experiment, I see progress. More often than not I feel like I am taking a stab in the dark, and things just don't work out the way they should...
Maybe its something wrong with me. With how I approach the whole grand scheme of things. Maybe it's because I do not know enough about the techniques involved. Maybe it's because I am ignorant about the very science the trade is built upon. Maybe it's because I try to rush through, and haste makes waste...
Maybe maybe maybe.
Just what exactly is wrong?
It's frustrating to want to know, yet realizing that there is no one you can ask who will provide a sufficient answer. The Ecoli would know the answers to my questions, but I cannot ask them.. can I?
Like me, my mentor cannot pinpoint which step has gone wrong. I repeat the experiment. When it becomes apparent a certain approach is wrong with each successive failure, I guess which step is the problematic one, and a different a approach is attempted. But there are only so many alternatives. And you do get tired of guessing and trying.
Maybe some experiments are never meant to work out in the first place. But who ever knows that?